Just kidding, I'm glad your here though. So, I've been working professionally as a software developer for 9 years now, I've worked with over a dozen clients and many more codebases and programmers.
So, with that in mind, I'll let you in on a little known secret. IT is not fun, programming isn't exciting, there aren't crazy genius programmers who can get more work done because of some divine gift. Programming is work. Some programmers work harder than others.
You need to read code, a lot, and it'll make your head hurt. Give yourself a break. And go at it again, forcing yourself to learn when you feel like crap doesn't work.
Also, another pro tip, there is something about reading code all day that is superbly anxiety provoking, fucking ignore that shit. You've got a job to do. You aren't being paid to sit around and worry what people will think about the quality of code.
Another pro tip for working in a team, for you newer engineers. Find yourself a smart hard working more experienced dev, and support the shit out of him. If he looks good, and he knows your in his camp, he will look out for you.
That's all, stay safe out there boys and girls.